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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Body Image

It's National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (Feb. 24-March 2). In honor of it I would like to address the topic of body image (in a personal sense). 

I'm not a six foot tall, thigh-less, model with no boobs. And while I'd love the no boobs part and maybe a few extra inches (I'm 5'1), I don't actually have a craving to be that woman. 

I've cycled through various stages of weight as I've matured (the little skinny kid, the curvier woman) and with that cycling I dealt with different body image issues. While most women just strive for "skinny," I remember, during my younger years, having a hunger for curves. I wanted to look like a woman. I wanted to have that hourglass figure that I saw on the likes of Marilyn Monroe. I remember eating everything in sight, trying so hard to get over 100 lbs. (don't gasp, I repeat, I am 5'1). Of course, that day came and I was on cloud nine. As one would predict, that cloud did not last long. A few years later, I was over curves and what men wanted in a woman, and decided I was more into looking like the Olson twins (again, short, so I must have short role models, duh). 

I've gone from immature skinny with no figure to pregnant and huge (no I was not one of those "oh you can't even tell she's pregnant" women) in the last ten or so years. I feel like I've experienced it all. The awkward skinny kid, the terrible post pregnant lumpy body, the perfect breast size, the skinny waist and curvy hips, having to wear tween pants, or buying a size 8 (I'd never seen the likes of that size until I got pregnant).

I can attest to feeling insecure. Not wanting my picture taken. Cringing at the site of flabby arms or bigger thighs. But if you are living a healthy lifestyle, eating well and challenging your body, there is a point where you have to find that confidence that is buried deep within your soul and rip it out. 

In the past several months I have found a little beast inside me. It basically looked me in the eye and said, "listen here woman, you may be a pseudo elf, but that's no reason to not get up and work it." So here I am, representing the little (not Olson twin skinny) women. 

The truth of the matter is we're surrounded by women chiseled from slabs of marble. The normal people don't get their cellulite ridden butts in Vogue or street style photographers chasing them. Don't expect that to ever change. People want to look at beautiful things and no one can disagree, aesthetically speaking, a skinny tall lady looks great. But, I do believe that bloggers are doing wonders to boost women's confidence. Everyone can have a platform (not always of equal popularity) to show the world who she is, regardless of what she looks like. This is where I found that little confident beast. Browsing through blog after blog of short girls strutting their stuff has given me unimaginable amounts of self assurance. I now want to regift that feeling. I hope there is at least one woman out there who has read my blog or looked at my pictures and thought, "heck, if she's 5'1 and wearing that [fill in the blank] I can do it too!!"

It's not skinny, curvy or tall that is beautiful, it's confidence. Though confidence can be hard to come by at times, giving up is not an option.*

* in my opinion, anything from stopping a workout routine and deciding you're always going to be a bigger girl to purging/starving yourself is giving up.

1 comment:

  1. I love this post! It inspired me to write one of my own, I didn't even realize it was Eating Disorder Awareness Week. I knew it was Rare Disease Day though, ha.